In one of my friend’s homes, her brother’s wife recently gave birth to a girl. Before the birth, she often said with a distinct, deliberate pride, “In our family, having a girl is considered a blessing.” She didn't just say she was happy; she was announcing a moral stance.
At first, it sounded genuinely heartwarming—especially in a country where many still quietly hope for a boy. But the way she repeated it, the clear performance in her tone, made me think deeper.
It wasn’t just love for the child. It was pride disguised as progress.
But the real, deeper question is not about which gender is celebrated; it’s why we are wishing for anything at all when that decision is not in our hands. Why can’t we simply accept whatever will be born instead of framing a child’s arrival as the fulfillment of a self-interested desire?
1. Pride Disguised as Progress
When someone says, “We proudly wanted a girl,” it sounds noble — but the pride itself comes from comparison. It’s like saying, “We’re not like those who prefer sons.”
The focus quietly shifts from the child to the self. From love to ego. From acceptance to differentiation.
They are not celebrating the child’s existence; they are celebrating themselves for being different. And that’s not progress — that’s performance.
It’s like saying: “I’m proud we’re not sexist,” which ironically still places gender at the center of pride.
2. The Child Becomes a Tool of Self-Image
In both cases — whether someone proudly desires a boy or a girl — the child becomes a mirror for the parents’ identity.
It’s a subtle form of selfishness:
“Look how evolved we are. Look how progressive our family is.”
But in that statement, the child stops being an individual and becomes a symbol. A symbol of pride, of rebellion, of moral superiority.
And that’s not love — that’s self-image management.
3. Respect Doesn’t Need a Mirror (The Meta-Irony)
True respect doesn’t come from proving that you are better than others.
When you proudly say “we wanted a girl,” you’re still defining worth through gender. The quiet contradiction—the meta-irony—is that you claim to reject the game of gender preference, but you're merely trying to win it from the opposite side.
You place yourself above others by claiming moral height. The moment you feel the need to declare that, you've already contaminated the purity of acceptance. You’re still playing the same game — only flipping the coin to the other side.
4. The Subtle Disrespect
And that’s what hurts the most — the disrespect hidden within pride. Because in that pride, the child — especially the girl — becomes a means to an image.
She’s not being loved for who she is, but for what she represents. She becomes a statement: “We are different.”
And that is not celebration. That is objectification in disguise.
Whether a family celebrates a boy for carrying the lineage or a girl for symbolizing equality — both acts arise from the same root: ego.
5. The Philosophical Depth: Acceptance vs. Desire
At the deepest level, this is not a social issue — it’s a human issue. Because the imbalance doesn’t come from wanting the wrong thing; it comes from wanting at all.
Desire creates division. Acceptance dissolves it.
When a child is born, the most sacred response is not pride — it is gratitude. The moment you add desire or self-image to it, you pollute that purity.
The real progress begins when we no longer need to prove anything through a birth — when a child is simply welcomed, without labels, without moral performance, without ego.
6. The Real Fight
My fight isn’t about girl or boy. It’s about acceptance—about rising above our selfishness, our hollow pride, and our desperate need to appear righteous.
True equality won’t come from preferring one gender over another. It will come only when we stop preferring altogether — when we can finally see life without the lens of comparison.
A child isn’t a mirror for our values. A child is life itself—complete, sacred, and beyond our pride. It is a presence that demands nothing of us but a pure, unadorned welcome.
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